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Sunday, April 19, 2009

A Challenge To Rush Limbaugh

There are some things I don't blog about because I'm so appalled by them, that I don't know what to say.

I know. Imagine that.

The fact that America tortures, is one of those things. There are so many more gifted and knowledgeable people out there that can write brutally and elegantly and deeply about this subject, that I don't know what I can add. But I realized today, that there are a few things that I don't see, so I thought I'd better write them down.

First of all, there's that fat fuck Rush Limbaugh. Sorry to insult all people of weight. But his large-ass figures prominently into what I'm going to say.

I'd like to challenge Rush Limbaugh to go through SERE training. (That's the school where they put you through all the torture techniques that were approved by BushCo for the non-white, bearded different people who wear turbans sometimes and actually fucking kneel down once a day to pray - can you imagine? - and who are still in our custody illegally, unless of course they mysteriously died or have gone insane.) I'm just appalled that that motherfucker Limbaugh is actually slapping his blubbery face on the radio to show people how stupid we are to be upset about torturing people.

Limbaugh is a classic bully. The kind that ridicules and threatens people from the safety of his fucking recording studio, but doesn't have the teabagging balls to engage mano a mano. Because he's a... Fucking Pussy.

Once I was in this group therapy class and one of the women was describing her uncle who had molested her and who now was molesting her daughter. She was terrified and didn't know what to do. The therapist was this famous guy who was a protégé of Carl Yung, and in that Germanic-Swissy not-very-sissy accent he said, "Your uncle is a classic bully. That means he is more afraid of you, than you are of him. I want you to go back home tonight, get a male friend or relative, and take your uncle aside and tell him this: If you touch my daughter again, I'm going to get a shotgun and blow your balls off. Your penis will be scattered across the room in tiny little bloody bits. Understand me? UNDERSTAND ME?"

You know, I could say that to her uncle right now and mean it. Even if I didn't have a shotgun, his balls would be mincemeat.

But, back to Rush. And his balls. Or lack thereof.

First, he'd have to suffer through cold turkey to get off that OxyContin. Because you know he didn't stop taking that shit. Hell, he's being paid by the RNC in tablet form (or maybe they crush it into powder for him to get rid of the time-release aspect so Rush can get his Rush faster), just so he can continue to mouth off about the feminazis pain-free. Fucking drug addict.

We don't want that pasty-white chicken shit to avoid the pain of torture by using recreational rich-boy drugs. No, we don't.

Next, he'll need to be deprived of cheetos and twinkies, his favorite foods when he was couch surfing on welfare while his wife worked. Fucking deadbeat.

Maybe he'll have the svelt look when he comes out of training, along with that crazy look that comes from having your worst fears shoved into the tiny box that somebody decided they'd put you in for, oh, well, who knows how long. And what day is it? And is it daytime, or nighttime? Who am I anyway? Don't you know who I am? I was famous, I think. Once. Can I have some food now? Could you turn down that rap music? I hate black people. They're all drug addicts and deadbeats.

Ahem.

I repeat. If that motherfucker can make light of torture from the comfort of his radio studio, then he can go take the torture class. We'll see how long he lasts. I hate to say this Rush, but Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and Abu Zubaydah have way bigger balls than you do. Way. Bigger.


(Image stolen from PoliticalHumor. Let me know if that pisses anyone off and I'll take it down. The image. Not PoliticalHumor. I really don't own a shotgun. Really.)

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