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Saturday, October 18, 2008

McCain/Palin In All Their Ilkiness

I've been reading a few thousand blog posts and news stories in the last few days, in case you wondered where I've been. And I noticed a little trend lately, of writers using the word "ilk." Now, I don't read conservative blogs. I let other people do that. I don't have the stomach for it, especially now that Mc* (there are just too many McFunny names for him now) and his Rabble-Rousin' Righteously Religious Runnin' Mate have become desperate and have started to inflame their dimwit base with heinous lies.

So, what I'm saying here is that it's the lefty blogs that are using this word "ilk."

I'm not sure I'm liking this trend. I feel like ilk is a dirty word. I know, I know. I could probably win the trash mouth blogger award hands down. But sometimes a good fuck here and there is required in order to effectively communicate how angry I am, and we should all be, for the many, many crimes that this administration has perpetrated upon the American people, and millions of innocent people in Iraq.

But enough about fucking, let me tell you an ilk story.

A few years ago, I was dating a cowboy jeweler artist kind of guy. He was nice enough to suffer through a couple of hours over at my parents' house from time to time, only under the agreement that afterwards he could run home and take a hot bath to wash off all the bigotry. My mother is the worst offender, and with Fox news on the TV 24 hours a day in her living room, we get to watch that crap in the background with the sound muted so that she could make sure that we listen to her commentary. At one point she was going on and on about some commie pinko Democrat or another (I tend to drift and miss most of the details), and she turned to my boyfriend as he sat politely with his stetson in hand, and she said, "Blah blah blah blah blah, but you and your ilk think blah blah blah blah."

On the way home, he kept repeating, "You and your ilk." What ilk was that? The cowboy ilk? The jeweler ilk? The balding ilk? The "you're fucking my daughter that slut the mortal sinner" ilk? (That's a pretty big ilk, historically speaking.) She'd met him exactly 3.5 times and yet she somehow knew more about his ilk than he did. She was lumping him into some undefined group of ilks who she obviously disliked. She was dismissing him, and his associates, whomever the guilty parties might be, with a wave of a hand and a three-letter word.

I guess I could say, "Sarah Palin and her ilk..." and you would understand I was speaking disparagingly about her, along with some undefined group with whom she allegedly ilked on a regular basis. I'm tossing her and her entire ilk overboard, and walking away without lowering a single life boat. I guess you could figure out which ilk I was referring to, within the context of my rant. But why would I make you work that hard?

The problem with using the "i" word is that, in times such as these, the more specific we can get when describing McCain and Palin, the more effective we will be in exposing them for who they really are. Ilk is a lazy word. It's too easy. It's harder, and takes many more words, to say exactly what we mean. But it's better writing if we do.

For instance, Sarah Palin is a fundamentalist Christian who believes that the US government should be run under the rules of her form of Christianity, that government schools should teach her brand of Christianity and all of the crazy dinosaur stories associated with it, and that public libraries should ban books that Sarah disagrees with, and that America is inherently a Christian nation, and that Christians should be the majority who are in charge of the heathenish rabble. (Got that all you Jews? Oh, I forgot. She loves you and Israel so much that she hopes that when the rapture comes you'll make the correct choice and become her brand of Christian or, well, die. But don't despair, she'll be smiling and winking as you burn in the fires of the great conflagration that she hopes will come sooner rather than later, so that the Christians can take their righteous place in the promised land and take over the abuse of Palestinians.) She believes that American citizens are "allowed" to follow whatever religion they choose, but that only her brand of Christians know the true way and thus should be in charge.

That's a whole lot of words, but if you didn't know that some of her deepest beliefs threaten your freedoms, all those words are important. You wouldn't know half as much if I had just said, "We're not going to be safe if the second highest office in this land is taken over by Sarah Palin and her ilk."

Sarah Palin is also the kind of woman who lets her husband govern with, or sometimes, without her. Even though she was the one elected to office, not him. She also fires people who won't do her bidding, and she has recently been found guilty of violating ethics laws, irregardless of her assertions to the contrary. I guess this would mean that she and John McCain are both liars, since he blatantly lied to Dave Letterman, and had the balls to show up on the show a few weeks later and say, "I screwed up" instead of the much more accurate "I lied to you." He has some trouble being specific too.

John McCain, of his own admission, is a "gambling man," and he "pals around" with casino owners who also pay him to legislate in their favor. He is also a veteran who, if he had never done time in the Hanoi Hilton, would simply be regarded as a cocky little pain in the ass with a bad temper, and a bad pilot who crashed three military jets, versus the dazzling and amazing war hero of his manufactured image. He was such a member of the fake war hero brigade, that he left the scene of a fire on the deck of his aircraft carrier and, from the safety of the officer's mess TV, watched more than 100 of his fellow soldiers die. He also ditched his ailing wife to take up with an heiress, and now he can call her a cunt and ignore her on stage after each debate. What a guy!

So, as you can see, Sarah and John are members of many ilks. Some of them pretty despicable. That's why I'd like us libruhls to stop being lazy and tossing that three-letter word around, and instead, get really, really specific.

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