Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Chris Kelly at HuffPo: David Vitter - Party Pooper

OK, Chris Kelly's article on the Huffington Post is the funniest article I've read yet about the Senator (and I use that term loosely) Vitter/Hooker scandal.

I have not yet seen the original reporting about Vitter's fetish for being diapered, but having been a hooker myself (for one whole week - it was enough for a lifetime), I will say that the guy who begged me to beat his butt with hangers (while his fat, droopy, white ass was on all fours), helped me immensely later in my career. I learned that, underneath those suits, men were pretty, well...I'll be nice and say, fragile.

This insider's knowledge helped me put Lou Dobbs in his place (well, in front of the camera that is) when I filmed him for a few segments of a stock market trading game CD. I just looked at his fat orange pancake-makeup face as he lorded around the CNN news room in New York City, intimidating everyone, and thought, "Hangers."

When he finally finished throwing his weight around, he bellowed, "Who is the director for this thing? I will only listen to them!"

I stepped up and replied, "The camera is rolling. Just put your feet on top of that quarter on the floor and start talking." (Or I'll beat your ass with hangars until you like it!)