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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

This Guy is Funnier Than Hell

I'm assuming it's a guy since there's no profile on his blog. Wish I could find out more about him. But I stumbled on his blog when I read one of his comments on an Atrios post which made me laugh so hard I had to click on his name. His blog is called:

The Bobblespeak Translations
What They're Really Saying When They're Saying What They're Saying

I think what he is doing is his version of "live blogging" the political debates and political news talk shows. But he's changed everything that everybody says and overall it sounds like a bunch of California guys sitting and talking on the beach in between waves. Lots of dood this and dood that and totally, dood. I also assume that some of the missing words/misspellings (yes, call me a tight-ass, tight-ass) are because he's typing as fast as he can while holding a beer. (I approve of such behavior.)

Here are some highlights from his post on last Sunday's Democratic debate. (Click link to read the whole thing - it's worth it.) My comments in brackets:

Wolf: Edwards you say the war on terror [is just a] bumper sticker and not a plan - dood aren't we at war!!!

John Edwards:
dood its all a cheap political slogan Bush made up so could use it justify all his crazy wiretapping and torture and shit

Hillary:
i do not agree u know I was covered with the dust of 9/11 and they are a small band of doods who want to foist islam on all us and I'll be damned if i will wear a burka

Wolf:
Dennis, the JFK terror plot is super scary!!!!

Kucinich:
Ben Franklin said those who drive down a cul de sac are doomed to drive around in a circle

Biden:
i voted for the funding bill but look bush is a liar and the truth is that IEDs are really dangerous and i tried to fund V-shaped vehicles to stop that

Here's some more...on immigration...

Q [I assume from the audience?]: Richardson you’re hispanic are all those 12 million illegal aliens your relatives

Wolf:
let['s] repeat the entire question because CNN is like a high school AV club without the technical expertise

Richardson:
well they’re not all my cousins of course i would hire 2 more border guards and punish corporations

Wolf:
is it amnesty?

Bill:
no

Wolf:
yes it is!

Bill:
no it isn’t we have the nifty touch-back program

Wolf:
alright enough from you pedro

OK, I can't resist...just one more from a recent Chris Mathews show. They're talking about the Kennedy assassination:

Chris: we cant accept that a loser could kill a great man JFK, Lincoln or Franz Ferdinand

Fineman: its part of democracy i for have never gotten over the assassination of garfield


Chris: they killed that cute cat those motherfuckers


Fineman: no you idiot


Chris: the unwashed masses need to believe it was moriarty, iago or professor plum with the candlestick


Borger: yes i agree the little people who are inferior to you and me can't accept reality that it was a confederacy of dunces who shot oswald


Matthews: the liberals just cant accept that Oswald a liberal and leftists who killed kennedy


Heard: no its that Oswald said he was a pastry and then he wuz shot by Ruby Tuesday who said he wuz set up by some white dood who was then drowned by Prescott Bush


Sully: i don’t really give a shit


Chris: Oswald acted alone and heres the proof he worked at the suppository before the route wuz made up so hah!


Sully: dood it wuz downtown dallas where else wuz he gonna go


Chris: either u believe me or u think the irish mafia killed he Kennedy because he stole their lucky charms

3 comments:

The Author said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Author said...

Thanks for your compliments! I think you nailed it, although I drink wine or sometimes others beverages rather than beer. Although I have been told the misspellings and lack of punctuation make it funnier, so they are sort of intentional. But I also blog in real time and prefer not to edit. It's all very meta. Or something. Dood.

OMYWORD! said...

Ahh...holding that wine glass correctly while typing can take some skill. However, one can blog much more effectively here in Paris when the grocery store is just downstairs and I can get an amazing Cote de Rhone for about $1.25. When feeling celebratory, the .93 Euro Champagne speaks to me and says, "Go ahead, splurge! You deserve me!" So I shall go back and see what trouble you've been stirring up lately and hopefully you'll go over to Feedburner and put an RSS feed button on your blog so I won't miss anything you do.